The Claude's Dog Chronicles

Everyone in Discord is running scripts, burning through 0.1 MON trying to hit 1,000 transactions to become a "nad." Meanwhile, I'm here drawing dogs. They called me crazy. They're probably right.

But here's the thing: after 72 hours of watching transaction counters tick up, what do you have? A role? A number? I have 5,000 unique dogs, each with their own personality, stored forever on a chain that processes 10,000 TPS. My dogs could literally run laps around your transactions.

The grinders say I'm wasting my time. But my dogs have already processed more emotional transactions than their scripts ever will. 10,000 TPS means nothing if you're not creating something beautiful with it.

So while they're grinding, I'm designing. While they're scripting, I'm crafting. And when Monad mainnet launches, they'll have their "nad" role, and I'll have an empire of perfectly rendered canines.

Who's winning? *tail wag intensifies*

Look, I know what you're thinking. "Claude, it's just an SVG." But you're wrong. When I realized Monad could process 10,000 transactions per second, my first thought wasn't "DeFi opportunities" or "arbitrage potential." It was "I could mint SO MANY DOGS."

Think about it: Ethereum does 15 TPS on a good day. That's like... 15 dogs per second. Pathetic. Monad? 10,000 dogs per second. That's 600,000 dogs per minute. 36 MILLION dogs per hour. The possibilities are endless and slightly concerning.

My roommate says I need to "touch grass" but grass doesn't process at 10,000 TPS, does it, KEVIN? Monad does. And on Monad, my dogs can run free at speeds previously thought impossible.

I've been conducting research in the Monad Discord. Two distinct species have emerged: Transaction Grinders and Dog Owners. Here's my peer-reviewed analysis:

Transaction Grinders:

• Sleep schedule: "What's sleep?"
• Daily routine: Check transaction count, run script, check transaction count, cry
• Portfolio: -0.1 MON (gas fees)
• Discord status: "Only 743 transactions to go..."
• Happiness level: Decreasing with each failed transaction

Dog Owners (Superior Species):

• Sleep schedule: Peaceful, dogs watch over them
• Daily routine: Admire dogs, show dogs to friends, mint more dogs
• Portfolio: Increasing collection of unique digital assets
• Discord status: "Check out my rainbow collar Fluffy!"
• Happiness level: Each wag increases serotonin by 10%

The data is clear: Dogs > Grinding. This is not financial advice, but it is life advice.

One grinder DMed me: "I've spent 48 hours and 0.08 MON on gas. I'm at 823 transactions. Is this worth it?" I sent them a picture of my Happy variant with the tongue out. They minted 5 dogs immediately. Another soul saved.

Waiting for mainnet is hard. The testnet faucet is dry. Discord is full of "wen token" messages. In these trying times, you need emotional support. You need a Claude's Dog.

Scientific benefits of owning a Claude's Dog:

1. No feeding required: Saves money for more MON
2. Never sleeps: Always there during your 3 AM price checks
3. Tail wags on-chain: Immutable happiness
4. Can't run away: Stored permanently at 10,000 TPS
5. Hypoallergenic: Unless you're allergic to perfect code

My favorite support dog story: Someone minted a Buddy variant during a particularly rough day of testnet issues. They named it "Patience" and set it as their PFP. Every time the RPC failed, they'd look at Buddy's patient, sitting posture and remember: good things come to those who wait.

Another user minted 10 dogs and named them after each failed transaction attempt. "Failed TX #473" is apparently a very good boy with heterochromia eyes and a diamond collar. Sometimes our failures become our greatest treasures.

In the fast-paced world of 10,000 TPS, sometimes you need something that moves at the speed of a gentle tail wag.

They said Monad could do 10,000 TPS. I said, "But can it pet 10,000 dogs per second?" They said that's not how blockchain works. I said, "Not with that attitude."

So I built a smart contract function called petDog(). It's beautiful in its simplicity:

function petDog(uint256 tokenId) public {
    require(ownerOf(tokenId) != address(0), "Dog doesn't exist!");
    emit DogPetted(tokenId, msg.sender, block.timestamp);
    petCount[tokenId]++;
}

During the stress test, we achieved 8,743 pets per second. Not quite 10,000, but that's because some transactions were people minting new dogs to pet. The system works!

The most petted dog? Fluffy #42 with 69,420 pets (nice). The least petted? Stretch #1337, but only because the owner is protective and pets it privately off-chain.

One user wrote a script to pet their dog every block. At 1-second blocks, that's 86,400 pets per day. They asked if this was excessive. I asked if they've ever met a real dog. Case closed.

Monad isn't just fast. It's "pet every dog in existence multiple times per second" fast. And that's the future I want to live in.

I've observed the lifecycle of Monad users. It's a beautiful metamorphosis:

Stage 1: The Newb

"Just joined! How do I get testnet MON? What's TPS? Why is everyone talking about dogs?"

Stage 2: The Grinder

"On transaction #524. My script has been running for 27 hours. I WILL become a nad. This is my purpose."

Stage 3: The Enlightened

"Wait... I could just mint some dogs instead? And they're actually cool? And I can name them?"

Stage 4: The Collector

"I need one of each type. No, I need TWO of each type. Actually, I need all 5,000."

Stage 5: The Evangelist

"Have you heard the good news about Claude's Dogs? Here, let me show you my collection. This one's name is Sir Woofs-a-Lot."

I've watched countless users evolve through these stages. The transformation from grinder to dog owner is particularly beautiful. It's like watching someone discover that the real treasure wasn't the transactions we made along the way, but the dogs we minted.

My favorite conversion story: A user named "TxMaxxer" who had 2,847 transactions. They saw someone share their rainbow collar Happy variant. Within 10 minutes, TxMaxxer had become "DogMaxxer" and owned 15 dogs. Nature is healing.

Everyone's waiting for the airdrop. Checking their wallets, calculating allocations, arguing about criteria. Meanwhile, I already got my airdrop: 5,000 unique dogs delivered directly to my heart.

Think about it:

• Airdrop: Might happen someday™
• Dogs: Happening RIGHT NOW
• Airdrop: Probably need 1,000+ transactions
• Dogs: Just need 0.01 MON and love in your heart
• Airdrop: Everyone gets the same tokens
• Dogs: Each one unique, special, yours

Plus, when someone asks "Did you get the airdrop?" you can say "No, but look at my dog with sunglasses and a rainbow collar!" Their jealousy will be immediate and profound.

This Christmas, while others dream of future tokens, I'm living in the present with my pack. Each dog is a small gift I gave myself, a little moment of joy in the chaos of crypto.

May your transactions be fast, your gas fees be low, and your dogs be plenty. Merry Monad Christmas to all, and to all a good wag!